cornhobble: (.Puck - Loser)
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When you have friends that turn out to be somewhat sexist/homophobic/ist, what do you do?

There's this one guy I'm rather close with, but he's turned to be completely fail-y when it comes to women. Dude is totally sexist.

I've chosen to continue being friends with him in spite of it. I don't necessarily feel bad about this decision, because I don't think I should be obligated to be the perfect feminist who only surrounds herself with fellow perfect people (lol, that's not even possible).

But at the same time, it's like - can this friendship even last? I never let his sexism pass; if he says something misogynistic, I'll call him out on it. I can't help but think at some point he'll just get tired of arguing and cut off contact. I'm not going to stop being the Annoying Bitchy Feminist for anyone, but... I'd actually miss talking to him. :/

And knowing his ~tendencies... I judge him, ngl. That's probably not conductive to much of anything.

Sigh. idk, livejournal, I'm feeling a little melancholy and lonely today.

Date: 2010-10-15 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] openmydoors.livejournal.com
I have a friend/co-worker who is the same way, but homophobic, not sexist. He's actually said in the past that he would RATHER DIE THAN BE GAY. It offended me so much, I didn't talk to him for a month. But he's a stupid kid, and stubborn guy who refuses to be turned around on the subject. So I pretty much told myself, he's allowed his opinions. If it ever interferes with me and/or people and things and issues I care about, I will cut him down several pegs, SO HARD. But it hasn't come to that, so we remain friends.

My point is: it's really hard to change someone. You can try, and hey, it might work. But if it becomes a problem and it bothers you a lot and it doesn't change, then it becomes an issue of your beliefs vs his friendship. And it's really hard to choose, when you're good friends, but I don't think your beliefs should ever suffer because of a friend who can't respect them.

IDEK WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. ._.

Date: 2010-10-28 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornhobble.livejournal.com
NO YOU ARE TALKING PURE WISDOM, BB~

no seriously, you're making so much sense rn. It definitely feels like it's a battle of my beliefs vs his friendship at this point, which is tiring and sucks on so many levels. I'm just going to go ahead and tell him we should keep our opinions to ourselves when it comes to ~certain issues.

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