just make the whole thing... you know, cooler. it needs to be 20% cooler.

When you have friends that turn out to be somewhat sexist/homophobic/ist, what do you do?

There's this one guy I'm rather close with, but he's turned to be completely fail-y when it comes to women. Dude is totally sexist.

I've chosen to continue being friends with him in spite of it. I don't necessarily feel bad about this decision, because I don't think I should be obligated to be the perfect feminist who only surrounds herself with fellow perfect people (lol, that's not even possible).

But at the same time, it's like - can this friendship even last? I never let his sexism pass; if he says something misogynistic, I'll call him out on it. I can't help but think at some point he'll just get tired of arguing and cut off contact. I'm not going to stop being the Annoying Bitchy Feminist for anyone, but... I'd actually miss talking to him. :/

And knowing his ~tendencies... I judge him, ngl. That's probably not conductive to much of anything.

Sigh. idk, livejournal, I'm feeling a little melancholy and lonely today.

I just realized: I GIVE SHIT APOLOGIES.

Like, you know those shitty apologies people give sometimes that aren't really apologies? There are many variations, I know. The one I'm thinking about is similar to the 'OH I'M SORRY YOU'RE OFFENDED' one -- like, when the person isn't actually sorry but doesn't want you to be mad at them anymore. I've dubbed it the 'I'm-sorry-but-it-was-still-your-fault' apology.

I know someone who is the master of such apologies. After a fight he'll come up to you and say something like, 'I'M SORRY I DID/SAID [ACTION/WORD HERE]! *HUGS* BUUUUUUUUUUUT ---' And then he proceeds to list all the things YOU did wrong. It's like, the non-apology. Masterful.

So, back to the point. The other day I got into an ~argument and then apologized. I was thinking about my apology today, and... I'm realizing it was totally the shittiest non-apology of all time. D: And so I started thinking about OTHER times I've apologized to people, and I think I make shitty non-apologies a lot*. Not all the time, but enough to be noticeable.

Whoa, awkward. Ha ha aha... NOW I FEEL LIKE A DOUCHE. >:( At least I'm self-aware? SOMEWHAT??

See, now I have a new resolution. That is, DON'T MAKE DICK NON-APOLOGIES, SELF. It's embarrassing, and also grade-A douchebag behavior.

*This makes it sound like I'm running around pissing off people left and right, and that's not true. Mostly.

So today someone came up to me all cheerful (WARNING SIGN #1) and asked me, "So hey, did you finish doing thing so-and-so?"

Me: ... D:

See, a while ago I promised to do something for this ~particular person -- more of a personal favor than anything -- but then I completely FORGOT about it and didn't do squat.

Now everyone's all "cornhobble, I AM DISAPPOINT!"

GOSH. SOMETIMES I NEED REMINDERS OKAY. :(