just make the whole thing... you know, cooler. it needs to be 20% cooler.

I just realized: I GIVE SHIT APOLOGIES.

Like, you know those shitty apologies people give sometimes that aren't really apologies? There are many variations, I know. The one I'm thinking about is similar to the 'OH I'M SORRY YOU'RE OFFENDED' one -- like, when the person isn't actually sorry but doesn't want you to be mad at them anymore. I've dubbed it the 'I'm-sorry-but-it-was-still-your-fault' apology.

I know someone who is the master of such apologies. After a fight he'll come up to you and say something like, 'I'M SORRY I DID/SAID [ACTION/WORD HERE]! *HUGS* BUUUUUUUUUUUT ---' And then he proceeds to list all the things YOU did wrong. It's like, the non-apology. Masterful.

So, back to the point. The other day I got into an ~argument and then apologized. I was thinking about my apology today, and... I'm realizing it was totally the shittiest non-apology of all time. D: And so I started thinking about OTHER times I've apologized to people, and I think I make shitty non-apologies a lot*. Not all the time, but enough to be noticeable.

Whoa, awkward. Ha ha aha... NOW I FEEL LIKE A DOUCHE. >:( At least I'm self-aware? SOMEWHAT??

See, now I have a new resolution. That is, DON'T MAKE DICK NON-APOLOGIES, SELF. It's embarrassing, and also grade-A douchebag behavior.

*This makes it sound like I'm running around pissing off people left and right, and that's not true. Mostly.